Managing the Mind Game

by Adrienne Burton

Insight Three: We Live in a Body – May I respectfully seek awareness and connection.

“I’ve never been good at meditating. I just can’t make my brain stop!” This is what one of my parts thought for a long time after listening to all the experts repeatedly tout meditation as the answer to everything. It’s true that studies show mediation is effective for reduced stress, blood pressure, and age-related diseases as well as better sleep, improved emotional regulation, increased focus and enhanced mood. But somehow, this part found it frustrating and felt like I was defective somehow. I would often sit in the standard meditation pose with my legs crossed (as uncomfortable as it was) and try with all my might to make my mind go blank. I could feel the anxiety building as the random thoughts kept cutting in like a rude driver on the highway. And then after a few minutes, a judgmental part would jump in, I’d become blended, and then just throw up my hands and move on to something that my parts thought was more productive.

This continued intermittently over a period of time until I was introduced to a new possibility around meditation. I learned that instead of stopping my thoughts, the goal could be to simply observe them. Like the billboards on the side of the highway, I could just look at them as they went by and notice what they said. Later, another teacher offered that rather than meditation being about my thoughts, perhaps I could observe what feelings and sensations were occurring in different parts of my body—like temperature, tension, texture, tingling. And finally, yet another teacher offered that meditation could be about focus—directing my attention to a particular thing and holding it there, then returning my attention to that same thing when a wandering thought jumped in. Rather than stopping my thoughts, I could direct and redirect them as many times as needed. These are just a few of the lessons that helped me to unblend, develop a different relationship with meditation and begin to practice in ways that supported me in connecting with Self energy and being a compassionate witness for my parts. Since that time, I’ve learned that there are a multitude of ways to engage my Self in meditation that are, in fact, supportive to my system.

Below are a few options as a starting point that may help in cultivating a relationship with meditation. They can be done seated on the floor or in a chair, while lying down on a mat or bed, or while performing simple tasks or gentle movements. I’ve learned it’s best to start in small increments of time, 5 or 10 minutes, and grow from there, and also to hold patience and compassion from my parts as we try different things. It may take a little trial and error to find one that fits, but with continued practice, meditation can be an effective tool on the recovery and wellness journey in support of Insight Three: We Live in a Body – May I respectfully seek awareness and connection.